Saturday, March 17, 2012

St. Patricks' Day - parts 1& 2.....

Part 1 - Happy St. Patrick's Day!
As I always say, no better way to honor the Patron Saint of Ireland, than to drink green beer, and then throw up in some alley, haha! Seriously, I'm proud to be an Irish-American, and proud to be born on St. Paddy's Day.
Hey, you know what an Irish 7 course dinner is?
It's a six-pack of Guinness, and a potato.
Know how many Irishman it takes to change a lightbulb?
It takes 6 - one to hold the lightbulb, and 5 to drink until the room starts to spin.
Know what the difference is between an Irish wedding, and an Irish wake?
One less drunk....

Part 2 - " I hope I di-di-die before I get old......."
Well, look at this....... it didn't happen. I'm still here. With this birthday, there's no way to get around it. I've reached that plateau in my life that makes me officially OLD. I never thought it would happen, but it did.
I think the realization of being OLD finally sunk in when I renewed my drivers' license a couple days ago, and the DMV issued me a pair of horseblinders sunglasses, and told me to pay particular attention to the back of my license.

There were some new endorsement on the back - they enabled me to legally turn my right turn signal on, and leave it on permanently for the rest of my life. It also allows me to legally drive in the fast lane next to somebody in the right lane, to prevent people from passing. I can also now drive 10-15 MPH below the speed limit in the right lane, and then when somebody tries to pass me I can lawfully speed up to a maximum of 100 MPH when they get next to me to prevent them from doing it. Nice! That'll show them damn whippersnappers. I also have the option now of having "Pops" put on my license instead of "Mr.".


Rigid Hips Stockholm said...

I've been a wild rover for many a year
And I spent all me money on whiskey and beer
But now I'm returning with gold in great store
And I never will play the Wild Rover no more


WhitelinePsycho said...

Happy Birthday mate, it's also my best buddy's day of birth, the only one of all my mates whose birthdate I can ever remember . . . enjoy the green beer, the alley and the new road rights, dig your work.